Holly's Thoughts on Leaving Germany

Question: "How are you feeling about the move?"

Answer:

When I think about leaving Germany so soon, I feel a tightness like a wire squeezing my chest. I will really miss it all: the warm friendships we've developed, the adventure of getting to know a new language and culture, the relatively liberal politics, the cobblestones and half-timbered houses, the outdoor markets and accordions and church bells and swans...

But it was bound to come, and the life awaiting us back in the US offers new things to look forward to.

Although speaking English isn't what I'd call an adventure, it is actually very exciting to see Daisy speak English with other kids on the playground and to imagine being active members in our community. We are ready to dig deep, maybe even deeper than before because of our exposure to that famous German bluntness and comfort with conflict. We're ready to meet our neighbors and join committees and find a church and talk, talk, talk. Can't wait.

I'm fixated on the novel concept of making our next home permanent. Ever since moving away to college in Illinois, and to Wisconsin for Chris' graduate school, and now to Germany for the postdoc, we have lived temporarily. I've never even painted my walls or bought curtains. When we move this summer, I will have completed a full two and a half years 1) without a car and 2) with a very primitive kitchen situation: no microwave, no dishwasher. No stand mixer. No toaster, zester, or cheese grater. No mixing bowls (we use pots). No whisk (use forks). We got a timer about a year into it (use the position of the sun...just kidding). The point is, we've consciously avoided accumulating material things - duplicates of which are sitting in a basement in Wisconsin - in favor of targeting specific European experiences that we won't be able to have again. And, even though a cheese grater wouldn't have thwarted a trip to Paris, I like the fact that it won't have to join a landfill when we leave in a few months. I've honestly enjoyed this mode of living lightly - it's somewhat like the spiritual exercise of voluntary poverty recommended by ancient Roman philosophers and still practiced in monasteries. Later this year, however, it's back to the car and dishwasher and cheese grater lifestyle - so opulent! - and I have to admit that the idea of living with more gets me a little excited.

Living with not just more, but nicer-more. Because we've been living temporarily, we've been getting by with pretty much the cheapest furniture Ikea has to offer. Although it gets the job done, Chris is always the first to excuse himself from the dining table because of the uncomfortable chairs. If we're investing in a permanent home, we have an excuse to invest in quality furniture or chandeliers or clawfoot bathtubs because we can use it all for as many years as we want.

This is all because we finally are making a professional income. No longer student stipends! Good job, Chris! I am so happy that my husband has landed his dream career and so excited to watch him develop into the kind of professor he's always talked about being.

Although we will miss Germany and might leave a chunk of our hearts here when our final plane takes off, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't leave; it just proves to us with gleaming clarity that we were so right to come.