Candy from Strangers

My comment about Hansel and Gretel at the end of my last post reminded me of something I've wanted to share for a long time now.

Daisy loves going on errands with me. We visit the Apotheke and they hand her a new rubber ducky that changes colors in the bathtub. We step inside the Fleischerei and they reach over to give her a special slice of meat. The bookstore slips free kids' paperbacks in my bag. The fish stand peeled and cored a free apple for Daisy, and an old-fashioned restaurant surprised her with a bowl of fresh strawberries with cream. She can count on raking in sugar cookies at the tea shop and mini rolls from the bakery, stickers from the train conductors and apricots from the fruit stands.

My German friends dismiss these freebies as marketing ploys - and the strawberries with cream were probably to get her to stop crying, admittedly - but I insist that it displays a cultural appreciation of children. As our dear downstairs neighbor, Frau Pieper, says, "Kinder immer erste," (children always first). The willingness to devote so much attention to children may be because of a lower birthrate here; out of 223 countries in the world, the bottom five according to 2010 CIA estimates are: Germany, Italy, Hong Kong, Japan, and Monaco. (By contrast, the United States stands at #151, sandwiched between Netherlands Antilles and New Zealand. See full list here.)

Besides, it's not just the stores that pamper the little darlings. I remember the first time an elderly gentleman pulled a piece of candy out of his pocket to give to Daisy. He was sitting near us on a bench in the mall and enjoyed seeing her run around. (I ended up tossing it a few minutes later.) Last week, a woman in front of me in line at the bakery saw Daisy, turned around to order, and deposited a chocolate croissant in Daisy's lap on the way out. (I let her eat that one - even though the woman never asked me if it was ok).

These German women don't seem to place much stock in what the Mama thinks - I'm new at this, and they're experienced. I became accustomed to strangers tugging down Daisy's pant legs in the winter, frowning when they touched her cold hands. A woman once went to great lengths to clean Daisy's face that still had remnants of her breakfast smoothie on it (boarding a tram together, reeling while taking a tissue out of her purse; dousing with mineral water from her bottle, spilling on the floor of the train; I was allowed to do the actual wiping of Daisy's face. She took the wet, dirty tissue after I was done, though). Recently, while at the pool with Daisy, a friendly woman offered to watch Daisy while I swam a few laps. Although I'm 100% sure that Daisy wouldn't have minded and that the woman was trustworthy, I still could not bring myself to do such a risky thing. Apparently, the community works like this. It's really "taking the village to raise the child," something that I support in concept, but can't quite participate in. It's obviously not my village yet.

At any rate, I have a feeling that Daisy will remember her toddlerhood in Germany as one big, tasty gingerbread house. And I might remember it as learning to accept candy from strangers.